I am Arfur the Rat. I live in Nottingham Castle Dungeon. We’ve ‘ad some distinguished visitors , we ’ave. Guy of Gisburne, wot usually has other people chucked down ‘ere, was chucked down ‘imself. Serves ‘im right, I sez.
Guy was not a good guest. He threw a tantrum, so the guards emptied their pisspot on ‘is ‘ead. Then a friend of ‘is was chucked down to join ‘im. Some of Robin Hood’s men came to get this friend. He laid Guy out good and proper . I chewed Guy’s ‘air, coz I was ‘ungry, see? He tastes like rotting cabbages.